Drivers
I was going to bring this one up as Older Drivers but that wasn't fair. Where I live, and unfortunately drive, there is a large compliment of Older Drivers but I have noticed lately it's not just the Older Drivers that have been pissing me off. Let me break it down.
Older Drivers
Okay... okay... I understand that you are not in any rush to get to where you are going but damn it, I AM! I still have a job I have to get to in the morning. I am the one banging on his steering wheel as you drive completely oblivious to everything around you at 42mph on a 55mph road. Why don't I pass you if I am in such a rush? I'll tell you why, because for some reason, even though I know you are not aware that I am behind you, as soon as I speed up to pass you speed up and start doing 57mph. So I calm down a bit and figure "Okay at least he is going the limit and I'll be damned if I am going to get a speeding ticket trying to pass him at this speed." Then what do you do.... damn straight, you slow right back down again. You know sometimes I am glad that a felony conviction is keeping me from owning a firearm. Oh and another thing? Why aren't you in a rush? I mean if I was that age I would be in a serious hurry. Think of the little time you have left and how do you spend it? Pissing me off and making me late for work?!?
Minus 10mph Drivers
Kind of a sub-genre of the Older Driver. The speed limit is 55mph and they are driving 45mph. Bad enough if you get caught behind them for any length of time but god forbid you stay behind them when you hit a Speed Reduction Zone. The limit goes from 55mph to 45mph and they slow to 35mph. That is almost enough to blow a capillary in my brain! I mean COME ON!!! I KNOW YOU CAN DO 45mph! I KNOW YOU CAN HANDLE THAT (as I have been behind you for the past 20 miles), SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SLOWING DOWN FOR?!?!?
The Break Drivers
Almost a category all on it's own but plenty of these are found in the upper two to be a sub-category as well. Go around a slight bend in the road and you HIT THE BREAKS! Drive past someone waiting to merge into traffic from their driveway and you HIT THE BREAKS! Drive through an intersection where you have the green light and you (my kingdom for Q to install those rocket launchers in my Hyundai) HIT THE BREAKS! If you are that damn skittish on the road I would hate to think of what you are like someplace really scary.... like a petting zoo.
I Paid Over $30,000 For My Vehicle
No, I don't have a problem with people that can afford expensive vehicles. I mean I could get a better car but my 10 year old Hyundai still gets me from point A to point B with no fuss or muss, so what would be the point? Anyway, the drivers that I am talking about (and not everyone with a 30k+ car is like this) are the ones that think the more they spend on their vehicle, the less the rules of the road apply to them. Here is a smaller break down.
SUV Owners - The U stands for Utility you yuppie scum! And driving it to the sanitized Gold's Gym is not considered a Sport.
4x4 Truck Owners - The ones that look at an unpaved road and cringe from the thoughts of getting dirt on their freshly Armor All'd tires.
Land Yacht Owners - Yeah I know another hit on the Older Drivers (so sue me). Crown Vics, Lincoln Conts, anything made by Cadillac driven by people that would have trouble parking a VW Bug (new or old... even though I think the new bastardized Bug is a travesty. For God's Sake they put the engine IN THE FRONT! .... um.... sorry I digress). When you get older and lose certain motor-vision-cognitive skills DON'T BUY A CAR THE SIZE AND HANDLING OF RHODE ISLAND! I actually had an older lady driving a white Crown Victoria cut me off in the oddest way. We were on opposite sides of a 4 way light. I was going straight and she was turning left (across my path of traffic). Light went green, I pull forward and she slides out and cuts me off. What got me the most was I slammed on my breaks (as to not hit her) and she looked at me through the passenger side window and flipped me the bird.
BMW Owners - I have yet to meet one that I didn't want to punch full in the face. I like BMW's, I think they are a fine looking/built car but for some reason it seems only assholes drive them.
Maybe it's just me.